I have a secret to share with you...
I was isolating myself.
I am a 5/1 Manifestor (Human Design). I often hear people say, “I wish I was a Manifestor. I hope I have a Manifestor child.”
Like everything else, being a Manifesor comes with perks as well as difficulties.
The creator of Human Design was a 5/1 Manifestor. Martin Luther King was a 5/1 Manifestor. Manifestors make up 8% of the population and back in the day, they were Royalty – Kings and Queens. George W Bush is a Manifestor.
Manifestors are the trailblazing initiators – naturally attracting attention and trust - so controlling powers do their best to find a Manifestor to be the face and voice of their personal (and planetary) agendas.
Manifestors have the power to begin movements, and what we spark takes off. We take things (and systems) that already exist, improve them, build upon them, make them better, and then present them to the public in an appealing way. The Manifestor is a human Ganesh. As in, our aura removes obstacles.
You will notice that being in the energy of a Manifestor, magic happens for you. And, if you are blessed enough to be close to a Manifestor, the more you vulnerably tell him/her what you prefer (your life vision/desires), you will notice – usually immediately, depending on how much resistance you have - those issues become healed and solved.
This is the power of the Manifestor.
I'd be a potent enough Manifestor by itself, however; add on top of that a pure Sadhana practice since age 15 (yoga, meditation, prayer, etc), and you can guess how much my strength has exponentially grown.
The shitty thing about being a Manifestor is that everybody wants to control us. People want to use us for their own gain, purpose, and (usually) ego fulfillment.
It's exhausting and most Manifestors on this planet have stopped Manifesting and have gone into hiding due to overwhelm from being completely misunderstood, judged, and “burned at the stake” so to speak. People beg us for help and when we come to give it, we are resisted. It's a “shoot the messenger” sort of thing. I'm not going to lie – that shit is taxing as fuck. Studying (and moving towards the mastery of) energetics has been crucial for my survival.
I isolated not only because of this, but due to the fact that whatever I would initiate would blow up, which wasn't always a pretty outcome for me (due to the egos involved).
What's interesting is that all I truly do is document my own healing via film and writing. When I do, people think it's the next trend and fad to follow – that it's the thing that's going to save them.
Take yoni eggs for example. They were popular, but when I did a video which reached 80k hits (I recently removed the series from my youtube channel) they exploded. Now they are on national television with celebrity endorsement.
People have no idea about the kind of space I held in order for that culture to take flight in the way that it did.
Also, as a 5/1 Manifestor I have infinite creative ideas, which people love to steal.
Some people may wonder why I don't have more followers. It's in large part because I'd been so busy helping other people bring their dreams and visions to fruition.
Listen, I LOVE to give. Oh my God, I ADORE IT. It fuels my soul.
My friend Ben Vallery once told someone, “China's so generous that, if you didn't have a heart, she would pull hers out of her chest and give it to you. And when you would mention to her that she didn't have a heart, she would say it's okay, and then die.”
The thing is though, some people view the gentleness of my power – my kindness, softness, vulnerability, and openness – as weakness to be taken advantage of. Either that or something they want to "own" and "possess".
This makes the Manifestor angry. And so, we stop giving. We shut down and we hide.
Everyone loses when this happens. This very thing has kept me from making content for you. Isolate rather than create.
I am an initiating force. And when I do not inform (document), a part of me stagnates. I don't fulfill my purpose and function so after a while I feel dead inside.
It can be a real catch 22.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about Human Design since I have been studying it for a long time now. I am starting to get really good at it. And so, in my effort to no longer isolate and honor the HD teachers out there, I began to meet up with several of them to see about partnering to SERVE and SUPPORT YOU.
As I met with different HD teachers in the last months of 2016, I was met with – ahem – ego. I was told many things, one of them being that I “can't” teach human design. As if I'm not “allowed” or something. I was told to "stay in my lane".
Did you just tell a Manifesor that she “can't” do something?
Another thing I saw in 2016 -
I also had no idea that the coaching industry has some patriarchal, sexist, and misogynistic sides to it. They want you to do well so they can brag about you (as one of their clients), but they don't want you to shine brighter than them and do better than them. (p.s. I am not talking about Strategic Anarchy - to them I bow in reverence - they are the opposite of this.)
But see, most of these coaches of coaches will never understand what's it's like to live as a person of color/ethnicity in this world. They don't really care to understand. They don't try.
Wayne Dyer used to say that he would never use the words, “I am tired.” He mentioned that if he says he's tired then that is what comes true. But you know what, while that's new agey goodness, I don't think that Wayne Dyer ever truly knew about being tired until he got cancer. Because let's be honest; this country is made for – and by – white men like him. So, Wayne didn't really know the kind of tired that a black female 5/1 manifestor, using her entire life and resources to do energy work for the entire planet (to raise consciousness), has felt.
It's a special kind of exhaustion that you feel in the marrow of your bones and in your soul.
With all of these people leaving (dying) in 2016, I considered being one of them. Because who's going to advocate for this China Girl/Black Muse, be my Father Figure, and love me til the end of time as we dance in the Purple Rain?!!
However, once again, the universe has other plans for me...
During the New Years celebration my friends and I were enjoying at a beautiful house in Mt. Shasta, she walked in...
In all her ethnic glory and splendor – a powerhouse that I helped nourish into the vision of perfection that she is NOW.
See, she's been my client for years - one of my favorites who I allow closer to me than most. To honor her presence in my life, I invited her to be with us.
She walked in like the calm eye of LOVE in the center of a storm of 2016 release and 2017 interdependence.
She came in with bags and boxes of speciality foods she (and her family) had taken days to prepare.
She showed up with spices and handmade potions, oils, and lotions...
teas and exotic drinks she knew I would love.
She fed my family as if they were her own flesh and blood.
She sat with me for hours and listened.
We laughed. We sang. We danced. We planned. We were giddy like the children we are.
She looked at me with the widest eyes - the compassion of the Divine Mother herself.
As I watched her play the drums – a completely sovereign, empowered, energized person – she was different than when we first started working together. I stared at her and I thought, “Oh my God, the student surpasses the teacher. And THIS is what I have been working for all this time. This is what I have given my whole life to. This is the result and outcome I have worked so diligently for.”
She came and gave the 5/1 Manifestor what it needs – recognition – body, mind, and spirit.
She honored me as her Teacher, Mentor, Friend, Sister, and most importantly, as her fucking equal.
I will tell you straight that it's because of her that I come out of isolation and share with you again.
My 2017 is for her and for my students who treat me this way.
For you, I will keep giving.
I came home from a 14 hour drive from Shasta and I sobbed all night until I slept – thinking about your LOVE, my beautiful Priestess.
You are my JOY. You are my WHY. I live and exist for you.
I am a 5/1 Manifestor who can initiate entire movements. I am not the Generator who sustains the movement – I am the initial trailblazer.
What I realized is that I also initiate people.
2016 was my year of truly – finally – understanding exactly how precious the power of the Manifestor is. 2016 was my year of implementing Divine Discernment.
2017 is my Year of Action.
On January 22nd I will announce a new content schedule. On January 21st Selling with Spirit begins. I may only run it once this year. To be kept abreast of the latest in micro content, please follow me on my Instagram page.
This year I will hit it as hard as I feel to and with zero apology. For those who beg for my help and then call me pushy when I come and offer it – yes, I am pushy. Pushing to initiate you into the brilliance that you truly are. Pushing you to make a fucking choice to take a serious stand FOR yourself. Pushing to initiate myself by serving you. As I help you, I LIVE. When I do not offer support – when I isolate – I die.
After seeing HER, I have resolved now more than ever to stay the course. But even the Manifestor cannot do it alone. Royalty needs a court. The best I can do is to live out my design type fully – for US.
2017 is the Year of Interdependence.
We need you now - come out. And let me help you. Let US help you.
And so it is.